Activity: Go on a date
Where: Out and about in my neighbourhood
Cost: Depends on the guy I guess? Lol, it was free for me 😉
The Story: (I don’t know why, but I find this hilarious – click the linked text for even more history of dating gems)
Dating is a part of the human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time. The most common idea is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they are compatible by going out together in public as a couple who may or may not yet be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage.
So believe it or not, I have been in three long term relationships in my life, and before this past Thanksgiving Monday, had never been on a date before! I met my first boyfriend in high school and we started “going out” right away – much too young for actual dating, so we just became “boyfriend/girlfriend” right away. We were together for 4 years until I was 18, and then shortly thereafter I met my next long term boyfriend at a bar, and again, we just became a couple right away. Our relationship lasted almost 4 years as well, and after we broke up I was effectively single for 6 years. Just did my own thing, travelled and partied with friends, and enjoyed my independence and freedom until one day my ex-husband kind of fell into my lap. We randomly met one night at a bar he never went to, and that I hadn’t been to in years and after about a month of confusion, we started dating, moved in together and eventually got hitched.
Now as you know, my husband is an ex-husband for a reason and I am back on the market and in the singles game for the first time in six years which is SCARY. I have heard so many horror stories of dates gone awry and outrageous online encounters gone wrong that I honestly have no desire to hit up the digital world of dating at this point. I’m easing myself into this all slowly but surely, and on my own time which is super important. The thought of a new man in my life is still very foreign to me, but I decided to go on this date because I feel like we all need to start somewhere, and this was going to be my somewhere 🙂
I met this guy at a pub about 2 months ago on a random Thursday night out with my girlfriend, and we just kind of got to chatting for the last hour of the night. He’s a pilot, which I find fascinating (you know by now I hate flying!) and is from France which I also think is pretty cool! We exchanged some drunken French banter and phone numbers at the end of the night, and have been texting back and forth for the past few months (seriously, months!). We’d set up several “maybe” dates before this past week, but one of us always found a reason to cancel, so I was pretty surprised when things actually came together and we met up last week!
I made the date for afternoon coffee because I didn’t want to get stuck hanging out all night, or having a long meal, and it was kind of the perfect introduction to dating. We met at a coffee shop, grabbed a drink and went walking for a couple of hours. Conversation was HARD, but luckily I can talk enough for two people lol! I asked lots of questions, but I think nerves might have been a factor for him – not a deal breaker, but definitely not the conversationalist-type I’m usually into. We ran into a friend of his on our walk who I’ve since basically started cyber-stalking (joking!) so I’m pretty sure that I’m not interested in anything more with the French pilot, but I’m so glad I took the leap and realized how not scary dating is – at least this time around!
The Verdict: Well, clearly I’m going to have to keep doing this if I want to meet someone new! Like I said, I’m in no rush to jump into anything new – working on myself has been such an amazing blessing and the journey is just beginning! Hopefully when the timing is right I’ll meet the person who is meant to go on this journey or self-discovery with me, and we can grow together 🙂 xo