So I love that my friends and family read my blog…I get so much great feedback from them, and ultimately, it gives them a glimpse into my head space. I’ve had a challenging week, and have struggled a bit with whether or not I wanted to share it here…I’ve decided that the answer to that question is a resounding NO, I do not lol. Having said that, I’ve got a great support system of people who lent an ear over the past week, and my dear friend Mrs. A sent me this amazing little message (see pic below) with these words attached “I really like it. Feel like it really relates to you, like exactly :)” a few days ago:
I honestly feel like getting this message AND having a friend say it reminded her of me, was the HUGEST compliment. In a week where I’ve been doubting so many of the decisions I’ve made over the past year, this simple image reminded me of how much I’ve grown over the 12 month journey that I’ve just taken, and that as we grow (especially through painful experiences) we become wiser and stronger and ready for the upcoming hurdles life will undoubtedly toss our way.
There’s something super reassuring about knowing that the person I am today is so different from the person I was a year ago…it gives me the confidence I need right now to make brave decisions, different choices and to stand in my strength and knowledge that those decisions and choices are the right ones for me. I have to say, I feel more powerful just writing that 😉
Here’s to amazing weeks ahead to savour, and bad weeks ahead to conquer. XO
So, I always find it funny how we can stumble across things when we’re feeling a certain way that add so much clarity and perspective to a situation! I had QUITE a day yesterday…like seriously, I was raging mad and couldn’t really figure out WHY?! I was actually mean to people I spoke to (like feel bad about it afterwards kind of mean – actually, still feel bad about it kind of mean) and just kind of hated everyone and everything. This is pretty out of character for me, so I didn’t particularly enjoy the way I was feeling, and of course not really knowing what the hell was wrong with me didn’t help either!
Anywayyyyyyys, I came across this article today and a light bulb just kind of went off! I will give you a head’s up that I’m pretty into spiritual stuff (which I’ve mentioned on here before), so when I saw the title of this article I was like hmmmmmmmmmm, this seems like something that I need to read NOW lol. I have two words for you…mercury retrograde. The article is called How to Survive Mercury Retrograde by Gala Darling, and it was so so interesting (seriously, click and read it!)!!
I won’t get into a ton of detail, because it’s seriously laid out so well in what Gala Darling wrote, but I will say the most fascinating part of the article for me was that apparently mercury retrograde affects Virgos (like me!) a TON because we’re ruled by the planet mercury…who knew?! For those of you who want the ‘Coles Notes’ about what the heck I’m talking about, here you go:
- Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth and travel
- When the planet goes retrograde, all of these things go retrograde as well, aka get super effed up
- Apparently even people who don’t believe in “this stuff” believe in the effects of mercury retrograde
- It happens for a few weeks, several times a year – current phase runs Jan. 5-25th, 2016
- What happens? Basically everyone goes mental lol! Confusion, inability to communicate with others (hello!!), arguments ensue, technology goes on the fritz, travel plans fail, etc.
- Can provide us the opportunity to move back spiritually and re-examine things so we can move forward into a bright, fresh start (love this!!)
- Terrific time to tie up loose ends
- Overall advice for how best to deal with it? Go with the flow 😉
So yeah, bottom line? Maybe stay away from me until January 25th…kidding, kidding! Actually, the article gives great advice for working through mercury retrograde in a positive way, and so I think I’ll focus on the “moving forward into a bright new dawn” part personally 🙂 always better to work towards the good stuff (after you get through the rage-y feelings anyways lol), right?! XO
I am not a patient person. At least I haven’t been a patient person up until this point in my life. I like things to happen when I want them to happen, and I kinda dig certainty…I mean really, who doesn’t?!
So this past year has been a true test in patience for me…a FOR REALS kind of test. Reflecting back through 2015, I wanted so many things…I wanted the pain to be gone fast (done and done), I wanted my ex out of my life (no such luck yet…stupid house, but SOON!), I wanted more success at work (promotion – check!), I wanted to live a more grateful life (such a blessing!), I wanted to choose happiness every day (working on it!), I wanted to travel more (check, check and check!), and a multitude of other things that I have and have not yet accomplished. What these things all have in common are that they REQUIRE(D) PATIENCE…in some cases absurd amounts of patience because they either took much longer than I wanted or expected to achieve, or because they’re still pending achievement 😉
The one thing I’ve been trying to remind myself throughout the ups and downs of this whole ‘living a life of vulnerability’ process, is that I need to be able to forgive myself for having a bad day or two, or for not being happy every second of every day, or for being scared in the face of new experiences or for any other general fuck ups I might have because I AM HUMAN!! And truly, isn’t this what life is all about – learning from our mistakes, and having the patience to wait (and wait, and wait, and wait sometimes!) for things to work out as they should (because they really always do)? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get out there and MAKE SHIT HAPPEN, I just mean that you have to be patient with yourself while all that fabulous stuff you’re working towards untangles itself in the most perfect way.
I saw this cute pic on good old Facebook tonight and thought it was worth writing about, because it’s a friendly reminder to be more gentle with myself, and my expectations of myself (which are probably a little bit too high lol), and to just go with the flow a little more whenever I possibly can…I’m SO all over this (really, you’ll see!!) XO
So I saw this little picture thing on Facebook a few days ago about writing a letter to the you from a year ago, and just thought to myself “holy shit, this is my New Year’s blog”, because seriously what a year 2015 was for me. Here’s what I think my note might look like:
Okay Heath, it’s time to buckle up because this is going to be the craziest year you’ve ever had! Now I have bad news to start…it’s going to feel like the absolute worst, longest, excruciatingly painful year of your life for awhile…like for AWHILE. You’re going to think your life’s over, you’re going to cry A LOT and you’ll often wonder if you’ll ever feel happiness again. But eventually, a super brave, strong, grateful, passionate, unstoppable version of yourself starts to form under the scarred surface and you will LOVE her. She does things that scare her, and takes risks, and tries really hard to live her best life every day and she decides that 2015 won’t be your worst year ever, it will be your best year ever (I’m not gonna lie though, that doesn’t happen til about October, so hang in there!). You will be so incredibly happy by the end of the year, that you are literally unrecognizable to your former self (I swear, this is all true!!), so keep shining and trying and fighting because every little thing is going to be alright. Love you girl, future Heather
Okay, so that was actually a really weird thing to write, but a great exercise in summing up 365 days of emotion and living into one paragraph. I wonder if we all had magic crystal balls that could tell us what was coming, how we’d behave differently or live differently. Control freaks like me would be in their glory for sure lol! In all seriousness though, struggle and adversity are what shape who we are, and I’m truly grateful for the pain 2015 brought me because I’ve grown into a different person because of it. I have never (really NEVER!!) been so excited at the prospect of a new year before and I think that’s because I now truly see how much you can accomplish and grow in a single year – the possibilities are endless!!
So goodbye 2015…you showed up as my worst enemy and we part ways as lifelong besties 🙂 And 2016 – get ready to make some fucking magic happen together – I have BIG plans for you!! XO