I am not a patient person. At least I haven’t been a patient person up until this point in my life. I like things to happen when I want them to happen, and I kinda dig certainty…I mean really, who doesn’t?!
So this past year has been a true test in patience for me…a FOR REALS kind of test. Reflecting back through 2015, I wanted so many things…I wanted the pain to be gone fast (done and done), I wanted my ex out of my life (no such luck yet…stupid house, but SOON!), I wanted more success at work (promotion – check!), I wanted to live a more grateful life (such a blessing!), I wanted to choose happiness every day (working on it!), I wanted to travel more (check, check and check!), and a multitude of other things that I have and have not yet accomplished. What these things all have in common are that they REQUIRE(D) PATIENCE…in some cases absurd amounts of patience because they either took much longer than I wanted or expected to achieve, or because they’re still pending achievement 😉
The one thing I’ve been trying to remind myself throughout the ups and downs of this whole ‘living a life of vulnerability’ process, is that I need to be able to forgive myself for having a bad day or two, or for not being happy every second of every day, or for being scared in the face of new experiences or for any other general fuck ups I might have because I AM HUMAN!! And truly, isn’t this what life is all about – learning from our mistakes, and having the patience to wait (and wait, and wait, and wait sometimes!) for things to work out as they should (because they really always do)? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get out there and MAKE SHIT HAPPEN, I just mean that you have to be patient with yourself while all that fabulous stuff you’re working towards untangles itself in the most perfect way.
I saw this cute pic on good old Facebook tonight and thought it was worth writing about, because it’s a friendly reminder to be more gentle with myself, and my expectations of myself (which are probably a little bit too high lol), and to just go with the flow a little more whenever I possibly can…I’m SO all over this (really, you’ll see!!) XO