Okay, so it’s been awhile…too long, but I’ve been busy trying to figure out how I want to continue with this blog. I was spending a lot of time and energy writing about overcoming what other people had done to me…overcoming the hurt and the pain and the struggles that come with divorce and heartbreak (helllllllo, Ghost Guy) and now that I’m officially divorced (uh huh, you read that right!) and over the shit that that other guy put me through, I’m kind of like – what’s next?! I loved chronicling my search for new passions, and plan to continue with that, but I’m seeking a new purpose. I love writing too much to stop, but I also feel so much stronger today than I have in awhile and don’t want to keep ruminating about the heartache of my past.
So like I said, what’s next? I’m not 100% sure yet, I have an idea brewing (well actually, it’s not just an idea, it’s a plan!) but tonight I wanted to write about fear. I’m heading out on vacation on Wednesday, and got word today from my travel agency that not only had my flight plans changed in a majorly bad way, but I also have a stop over en route down South added to my travel agenda. As I’ve talked about many times in past posts, I HATE flying and these changes rocked me today…I started crying (like seriously crying), and was in the throws of a full blown panic attack for the better part of the day. I was SO upset, and angry and frustrated and then I had a moment of clarity – what a small, tiny, minuscule thing to be upset about in the face of terror and hatred so big that it has rocked the world. When countless people lose their lives every day because of hate so strong that people want to end the lives of others, there is really no room for self-pity about trivial matters. It’s time to turn away from fear and draw on our strength.
We (as a collective society) have so much fear bred into us from our births that we live our lives shrouded in self-doubt and with preconceived notions of what the world should look like. I battle these underlying thoughts, this detrimental head space, on a daily basis – we all do, even if we don’t know it. Whether it’s the idea that we’re supposed to look a certain way, love a certain gender, or practice a certain religion, it takes a concerted effort to shift our minds to a place of acceptance, love and unity – even the best of us, with the best of intentions. At the end of the day, I will just never understand why it matters to anyone else who someone loves or which God they worship, as long as they live peacefully and with love in their hearts. As John Lennon said, “it matters not who you love, where you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love.”
I have so much hope for our world, but it’s going to take open minds and hearts to make big changes. We need to teach the new generations coming into the world that hate is never the answer. That one sick person’s actions do not define an entire religion and that there is nothing wrong with loving whoever you want, but most importantly, we need to create a dialogue about how important it is to love yourself first, most and always. I believe as individuals we can accomplish so much, but together? Together we can change the world. XO