Full moonin’ and self-doubtin’…

So yesterday there was another gorgeous super moon in the sky (we witness about 4-6 of these babies a year), but it was especially brilliant because it was the closest the moon has been to earth since 1948! I’m not sure about you, but I find that I’m much more emotional around the full moon every month, even though scientifically it’s never really been proven that there’s a correlation between moon cycles and human behaviour. I know my ex-husband wouldn’t even go out with his friends when there was a full moon, because he had a history of (let’s say) dramatic behaviour, and I’m sure you’ve heard the words “must be a full moon out” uttered before when people, or your kids, or yourself (haha) are acting out in an exceptionally high-strung way.

I write about this today, because the past few days have felt really overwhelming for me. These feelings all kind of convalesced last night while I was meeting with the amazing website designer who’s creating my new passion project with me, when I started crying out of nowhere! I was looking at all the decisions I have to make over the next few months, and I felt paralyzed. In that moment I felt so scared of making the wrong choices, so scared of failing, so scared that this isn’t the right path for me, that I literally just couldn’t make a decision – cue waterworks. It’s amazing how we can be SO SURE of what we’re doing (and just to clarify, I do KNOW with 100% certainty that I’m following my true North Star with this project), but yet how easily we can succumb to our self-doubt and our self-limiting beliefs. Last night it almost felt like a switch flipped off for me, and I couldn’t see the light anymore for a minute there…luckily I had an awesome friend on hand to steer me back to the light, but it was definitely a moment of panic that didn’t feel great!

I was listening to the final Q&A call of my course with Jen Sincero yesterday morning, and she said something that I’ll never forget. It was so simple, and so true. She told the question-asker that no matter how well things are going along in life, no matter how perfect it all seems, we will constantly face hurdles, battles and regressions. They can come spaced out, or all in a cluster (seemingly) at once, but they are put in our path to challenge us to do better and because they are part of our plan. They can be painful, stressful, pull-your-hair-out annoying, but each of these experiences helps shape our true selves, and molds us into the strongest type of human beings we could ever hope to become.

So after all that turmoil (I’m still blaming the moon a little lol), last night I went to bed feeling incredibly grateful for all the obstacles I’ve been through over the past few years, and all the moments of self-doubt that have forced me to trust myself and my intuition in a way I never have before. These are the moments that remind me that I’m completely unstoppable, and that no matter what happens with anything I do in my life, it’s all part of the plan to get me to where I need to go. I’ve heard at work for years that if your goal or plan doesn’t make you feel physically ill, then it’s not big enough, and I FINALLY know what they were talking about…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!! XO

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