best day ever…

Well, I have to tell you that I am an emotional wreck as I type this blog post, both the last in my current forum and the first on my new website operationpassion.com. What a roller coaster ride the past two years have been, and to have it all culminate in this moment, is without a doubt the proudest moment of my life.

I’m riding high on a wave of self-love right now, and feel completely overwhelmed with gratitude for the outpouring of love and support I’ve been blessed with by all of you over the past week (since my official business-launch announcement), and the entire two years since I launched my blog. To have it go live today as not only a blog, but also a podcast, a daily email service for the brokenhearted, and a workshop, is more than a dream come true – it is everything I’ve ever imagined for my life and more.

This operation: passion community that we’ve created exists to help other women heal, find joy again, and most importantly, rise from the ashes of their pasts into the beauty of self-love. I know my life’s purpose is to help others, and through this website I know that I will be able to do more of that than I ever imagined possible. I could not be more grateful for the life I’m living today, and of course, the experiences that brought me to this place, namely my divorce.

Please click here to check out the new and improved operation: passion community, and listen to the podcasts, subscribe to our newsletter and daily notes, and consider who you know that could benefit from my workshop. I am here to help, and I would love to do that for any woman you know who could use a little love and support during her breakup, or simply with discovering the joy of self-love. You believing in me enough to spread this message far and wide means the world to me.

Stay tuned for weekly blog posts and podcast episodes as operation: passion grows her wings and soars!

With so much love and light,

Heather xo

when your dreams come true…my business launch excitement ❤️

So I’ve got some MAJOR stuff happening over the next few days, and I think I’ve been hesitant about making it public, or posting about it here because, well, then it becomes real. Like if I tell you all that I’m launching my new business on April 4th, I’ve actually got to launch my new business on April 4th lol…holy accountability, right?! But I’ve decided that with big moves, needs to come big action, which means announcing the launch and getting even more freaking excited for it than I already am!

I always knew that I wanted to do something worthwhile with my life, but I became so complacent in the life I had with my ex that I forgot what it meant to have dreams. I kind of resigned myself to just letting life happen to me, and not making any steps or strides to live the life I’d always imagined. I had a flash bulb moment in a conversation with my ex at the very beginning of our end when he told me that I “just wasn’t a doer”…never mind that I had singlehandedly supported our family for 6 years, he couldn’t be with me anymore because I just wasn’t the kind of person to get things done. This not only upset me, infuriated me, and broke me, it also lit a fire under me the likes of which had never been lit before. At first, all I could think was HOW DARE YOU, and that quickly shifted to I’LL SHOW YOU. Now, that ‘revenge motivation’ eventually faded into meaningful determination, and I decided that I needed to revisit my dreams, and figure out a way to make them a reality!

Enter in an idea for a blog in May of 2015 that stemmed from being determined to fill my nights with something other than wallowing about my divorce, and less than two years later I’m launching that blog into an amazing business that will help women struggling through breakups and divorce find their own path to passion and self-love! On Tuesday, April 4th I will launch operationpassion.com and howtorockyourbreakup.com, which will both direct you to my new, gorgeously incredible website (Prestige Digital has been the most amazing company to work with throughout this six month process!) where you will find an abundance of resources! These will include:

My blog, operation: passion, of course;

My new podcast Confessions of the Brave & Brokenhearted in which I chat with amazing women about overcoming their breakups and discovering self-love;

An email service called Notes from the Bright Side to give you (or a friend!) a daily boost of love (for a year!) when you’re going through the most challenging time of your life; and

My workshop series How to Rock Your Breakup, which will provide a step-by-step guide to rising above your breakup and finding self-love in a six week course (first series begins in Hamilton on May 2nd, which you can already register for by clicking here!)!

So yeah, CRAZY, right?! The excitement and passion I feel in my soul as I write this is truly unparalleled with anything I’ve ever felt before. For the first time in my life I KNOW I’m on the right path, creating the life of my dreams, and building a community for women to find safety, love, support and inspiration during the hardest times of their lives. This is not to say I’m not terrified, because I am…of failure, of not being enough, of not knowing what I’m doing, but fear is no longer something that I allow to control my life!

Stay tuned for the annoying countdown that will ensue over the next 5 days, and please feel free to spread the word about what I’m doing to anyone you feel may benefit from it! Your support and encouragement is going to be invaluable over the coming months, and I count myself incredibly blessed to have people like you in my life to support me in making my dreams come true! Until next week, XO

Can self love withstand…love?

I cannot believe that it’s February 20th, and I’m just now writing my first post of the month!! To say I’ve been busy is an understatement, but that’s not the real reason I’ve stepped away from writing this month.  I honestly just haven’t felt like sharing I guess, or maybe I don’t understand some of the things I’ve been feeling, so instead of writing it out (which is what I’m used to doing), I just kind of clammed up. I decided it was time to force myself back in front of the keyboard tonight, so here we go…

I feel like I have been given some tests this month, the Universe bringing some people from my past back around, checking to see if I’ve learnt my lessons and if I’m really ready to move into the next stage of my life.  This probably sounds all kind of crazy to some of you, but I’m a firm believer that whatever guides you (God, the Universe, Mother Earth, Infinite Spirit, etc.) will bring you the same situations on repeat until you learn the lessons you’re meant to learn. Perhaps this is why I’ve basically had the same relationship three times over since I was a teenager (with different fellas of course), all with the same outcome – infidelity, unhappiness, staying in the relationship for far longer than I should have, not being able to be the one to walk away, and the list goes on. It isn’t until recently that all the pieces have kind of fallen together in this puzzle that is my past, or I guess I’m just finally seeing it clearly now, and it’s definitely got me determined to do things very differently moving forward. So, lesson learned, right?!

That’s the hope, but I still feel so much fear surrounding this…the idea of getting into a new relationship, losing myself again, letting go of my passions, letting my new business sink, forgetting who I am.  These thoughts have been creeping into my mind regularly this month (thank you Valentine’s Day!), and I question the strength and self love and stability I’ve created in my world since my ex-husband left – is it strong enough to withstand…love? New love, the take-your-breath-away-can’t-take-my-hands-off-you-want-to-spend-every-minute-together kind of love that is pretty much inevitable when you start dating that new special someone. I don’t know, and I’ve realized (well honestly, maybe re-realized lol) after a month of some heavy soul-searching, that that’s okay.

Being in a relationship is the end goal for some (okay, many) people, but my end goal right now is so brightly, shiningly, unquestioningly about ME that I can barely contain my excitement! Sometimes we get steered off the path we know we’re supposed to take, or question ourselves and our limits and desires, but I know (I KNOW) that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be right now. I’ve got so much good on the horizon surrounding my new business venture (stay tuned for a launch next month, and check out the sneak peek in my pic above!!), I’m finally following my dreams and living my passions without apology, and I’m learning how to love myself in a way I never knew was possible. It is beautiful, and scary, and messy, and exciting, and so much more than I ever dreamed for myself. My heart is bursting as I write this, my friends, because this is the work in progress that is me, no apologies. Be sure to stay tuned for all the upcoming excitement for operation:passion – your support will be invaluable and I am already grateful for it! XO

Holding out for magic…

I just finished a 6 hour dinner and catch up session with my fabulous friend who is visiting from England, and I feel like the time with her has truly catapulted my plans for 2017 into a whole new galaxy. Do you have one of those friends who is so like-minded, and so incredibly inspiring that sharing a room with them, even for just a few hours a year, makes you want to be a better person? That’s what spending time with Samantha has done for me over the past few years, and this evening together was no exception.

Sam was one of the first people I told about the shattering of my relationship with my ex-husband. Not only did she know him well, but she had been through a very similar situation just a few years before, and I needed to know how she’d gotten through the pain. Her live in boyfriend had upped and ended their relationship over the holidays, leaving her completely blindsided, much as I was. I remember laying in bed and Facetiming with her as I sobbed through the story of what had happened, and the ache in her eyes was apparent even as we spoke across time zones and an ocean. She knew exactly what I was going through in that moment, knew the heartache and pain that would inevitably follow as I tried to learn my new normal without the man I thought I’d spend my life with. Her advice was automatic and clear. Don’t give that fucker another second of your time, and keep yourself VERY busy. Find something you love and do it all the time so that you don’t fall into bad vices and habits. At the time I didn’t realize that in just a few short months, that advice would launch this blog and eventually change my life forever.

The most important thing I think I’ve learned from Sam over the past few years as I’ve watched her grow and thrive as an incredibly independent and successful business woman is that WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING. You are smart enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, happy enough, everything enough to live a full life without a partner to complete you. She moved to England to be with the man who eventually betrayed her, but him leaving didn’t stop her from staying overseas and building an incredible life full of friendships, travelling, socializing and professional success. She did this all on her own, in (literally) a foreign country and continues to set and achieve HUGE goals for herself (like climbing Mount Everest in 2017 for instance!). I leave every meet-up with her feeling like I can conquer the world, like there is real magic out there waiting for me.

This all reminded me of an article I read this week written by Danielle LaPorte about holding out for the magic in life. About being aware that when you ask the Universe (or your God) for that special love, or job, or adventure, that we can often be seduced into accepting what comes along first…the ‘okay right now’ stuff. It takes a level of discipline and self-awareness to hold out for the AMAZING stuff, she says. Especially when you’re hungry for it, or in pain, or when you’ve just waited for so, so long for what you want. That’s when it’s hardest to be patient, but also when it’s most important to hold out for the magic that is just around the corner. Doing anything less is doing yourself a huge disservice, and will inevitably have you back at square one before you know it.

Having friends like Samantha (and so many other fabulous women) in my life is my constant reminder that holding out for the magic is not only possible, but also truly my only option. If I know one thing to be true, it’s that settling has been a story I’ve lived one too many times, and it’s done nothing but run me around in circles with the same results over and over again. Happiness comes with waiting (verrrrrrrry patiently) for what’s right and true and full of light and promise, and not from taking what comes easy or first. You owe it to yourself to ask for, wait for, and live the magic that is available to all of us; sometimes you just have to look a little harder and wait a little longer than you might want. That magic is totally worth it though, I just know it. XO

heather-and-sam

wait-for-what-you-deserve

surround-yourself

 

Being single is (mostly) awesome…

I was chatting with a friend today  who was up sick all night last night. She’s a single woman, a HAPPY single woman (yes, we exist!), but while she recounted the horrors of being up for hours ill in the middle of the night, she said “I swear this is one of the few times I miss having a partner – when I’m up alone, sick and scared, and I just want someone to tell me everything is going to be okay”.  This is definitely something I can relate to…there are very few times I miss having my ex-husband (or any man) around, but every once in awhile I think to myself “it would really be nice to have some help with this right now” lol! Having said that, this certainly doesn’t mean that I don’t absolutely love what being single right now means for me, because I really really do.

There are many, many things that I’ve learned about myself since I stopped cohabiting with my ex in March of 2015, one of which is that I actually LOVE living alone, something I NEVER thought I’d say. If someone had told me two years ago that I’d be living in my own 2 bedroom semi detached house with a creepy basement and a couple of cats, I would’ve laughed at them – for reals. I hated being on my own at home, at restaurants, generally anywhere in public, just really a big old scaredy cat. It’s really amazing what we can come to terms with and learn to love when we’re forced to live a different kind of life, and that’s something I’ve come to be so grateful for. Doing these things – eating at restaurants alone, going to exercise classes by myself, wandering the streets and malls shopping without someone else’s opinion (and the list goes on) – were all things I honestly thought I’d hate, but they’ve become things I surprisingly thoroughly enjoy. I’ve come to realize that one of the greatest gifts my divorce brought me has been realizing how much I really love my own company.

Now as you’ll notice, the title of this post is that being single is “mostly” awesome lol. That’s because there are definitely still times when I’d love to have a partner in my life. Like when I’m watching something funny on TV and look over to share a smile with the person watching with me (my cats just don’t seem to get jokes the way humans do), or when I’m super tired and don’t feel like taking the garbage out on Monday nights (like tonight!), and especially when my toilet clogs and the plunger just doesn’t want to work for me…these are definitely the moments when I think to myself “hmmmm, maybe I’ll consider one of those boyfriend things again one day”. For the most part though, coming home to an empty house, tossing my coat down on the couch, making whatever I want for dinner and watching whatever I want on TV is a pretty sweet deal (for now anyway)!

I guess the most important thing to remember is not to limit yourself. Just because you’ve never lived on your own doesn’t mean you couldn’t (maybe you should test it out by renting a hotel room for a solo night of ‘you’ time!). Just because you’ve never eaten in a restaurant alone, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it (seriously, go now!). Just because it’s scary to go to a new class (exercise, craft, writing, etc.) on your own, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t run out the door and do it right this second! And just because you never thought you’d enjoy being single (or just spending time on your own if you’re coupled up!), doesn’t mean that you won’t quickly learn to love the times of reflection, learning self love and care, and total and utter amazingness with just YOU. One thing I know for sure is that whether you’re single or in a partnership, taking time for yourself, meeting new people and having amazing adventures is NEVER going to be a bad thing, I promise! XO

If you’re grateful, tell them…

I recently received a Facebook message from a woman who shares a mutual friend with me. It was a group message to about 10 women telling us how integral our friend had been to this woman’s life in 2016, and asking us to participate in putting a book together about why we love this special lady so much. And so I just spent a few hours putting together some words about how important and special this woman is to me, and I am SO grateful for the opportunity to share my feelings with her – something I could’ve done a million times on my own, but didn’t until I was asked by someone else. It really got me thinking – how many times have I thought to myself “wow, I’m so grateful for this person, or that person” and yet never found the words to say it out loud to them?! Too many to count, and I think that’s going to change NOW!

I’ve gotten much better over the past few years at thanking people for their support and letting them know what they mean to me (bending your friends’ ears ad nauseum during your divorce will do that to you!), but there are still so many times I’ve read about something someone is doing, or had an old friend do something lovely for me and not taken the time to express how amazing I think they are. How incredible would it be for someone fabulous in your life to know how much you respect them for the fight they’re fighting, or the light they’re bringing to other peoples’ lives?! To know that they have impacted your life while working their personal mission – that is such a gift.  As I write these words, I can think of at least 3 women who I know are doing great things (thank you social media!) that I will make a point of reaching out to with some kind words full of gratitude for their amazingness – how about you?! Who can you say YOU ARE AMAZING to today??

I think this will be one of my intentions for 2017. To make a point of telling people how wonderful I think they are ALL THE TIME. How brave I think they are. How strong I think they are. To let them know they’re not alone fighting the fight, or shining the light. Because at the end of the day, we’re all in this together, and if you’re reading this, you’re definitely in it with me. Let’s spread love and gratitude far and wide as 2016 comes to a close and a brand new year of hope and promise crests upon us. I can’t wait to hear who you share your gratitude with!! Don’t be shy, comment below or private message me – I’d love to hear your story of spreading the love XO

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try to forgive again…

I was away in Kingston this past Friday night for an annual trunk show I do with a friend. It’s always an awesome time, so this year I decided to meet up with another friend afterward and extend my mini vacay over the whole weekend. We thought it would be a good time away from home, and that we’d find some super fun bars to check out in a new town. While it DID end up being an awesome weekend, it didn’t come without some serious levels of anger towards a certain someone that were rather unexpected…let me explain further…

You may (or may not, depending how long you’ve been following my blog!) recall me writing earlier this year about Ghost Guy…a person I met online last November who I essentially had a four month relationship with before he disappeared off the face of the earth. It was a seriously devastating experience for me because after everything I’d been through with my ex-husband, I allowed myself to open up to this sociopath (sorry, I did mention some residual anger, right?!) and honestly thought I’d met an amazing man. He was hilarious, and sweet, and attentive and kind ANNNNNNNNND totally not who he said he was, but I didn’t find that out until it was too late. At this point, I’d suggest reading these two blogs to catch up…Where Do All the Lonely Hearts Go Part 1, and Where Do All the Lonely Hearts Go Part 2…good back story, I promise!

So as I was enjoying my time away this weekend (brunches, massages, dinners, Irish singing concerts, drinks, etc.!), I couldn’t help but think about Ghost Guy (from what he told me, he was stationed in Kingston) and some serious emotions started resurfacing. I definitely don’t think about this guy much anymore (save for the occasional drunken rant lol), but after the way I felt this weekend, I’m pretty sure there needs to be some additional closure work done here, especially since I want to move forward in a positive way. I mean, he did just completely disappear without a trace, a word, a peep, and that shit is REALLY hard to understand, but I also believe we can’t move on from negative situations with love and light in our hearts until we truly let go of anger.

Now for the record (AGAIN), I really thought I didn’t care about what this guy did (to me) anymore, but then I started searching through old emails looking for a picture of him to show my friend (she thought her boyfriend might know him), and I came across something he wrote me, and this is what got me seriously fired up:

gg-email

So this was one of HUNDREDS of emails we exchanged, but I think it resonated so deeply when I saw it again this weekend because I let this guy into my head and heart when I shared my blog with him last year (WELL before it was public to most people!). That was something that was REALLY hard for me to do…trust someone again…and after he read everything I’d been through with my ex, he STILL decided it would be cool to trick me, pull the wool over my eyes, bamboozle me, however you want to say it, and that is just a really, really awful thing to do. Like seriously, hooooooooow do people like this exist in the world?! It honestly really, really hurt to relive the shame and pain of that whole situation, and that brings me here – to writing about it.

I guess what I want to get across in all this mumbo jumbo I’m rambling on about, is how easy it is to be taken right back to a place of hurt, anger, despair, pain, etc. in one quick second. How it can feel like all the progress we’ve made can disappear in the blink of an eye, but the truth is that that is JUST NOT THE CASE. While this experience was a blast from the past I wasn’t expecting, it was also the Universe’s way of reminding me that we can’t just work around our problems, we need to work through them. The progress I’ve made isn’t GONE, I just have more to make, and that comes from working through hard things (like disappearing men for instance!) one step at a time. I need to feel all the feels about this guy, and continue reminding myself that someone else’s inability to see or appreciate my awesomeness – DOES NOT MAKE ME LESS AWESOME! I am enough, always have been, and always will be. No one else can define my self worth, or make me feel anything less than amazing if I don’t let them…so, so important to remember! So yeah, don’t mind me while I keep doing my self-love work, and rising above all the challenges that come my way…and as for Ghost Guy, he’s just another bump in the road  ❤ XO